The past couple of weeks have been overly stressful!! I know that some of it is Wedding stress, but all this other crap keeps butting its way into the happiest time of my entire life!! What is contributing to my nearing mental overload?
Off the top of my head:
The amount of tuition for two classes at NAU...the stress and time that those 2 classes take to complete... or how about wedding plans... & unexpected financial burdens...like the $2000 my car will cost me tomorrow when I pick it up from the shop. or is it that I am running several nights a week, watching what I eat and still gaining weight. or is one of my biggest stresses the fact that I am unhappy at work. For the first time in almost six years I'm officially NOT doing what I love. I know as I learn the job it will get better, but for now...it's become just a job.
I obviously didn't know I wouldn't love being off the street... I didn't know it would take so much out of me to take me out of a patrol car. Maybe I didn't realize how much I loved it? Maybe I knew I needed to leave where I was so that my own life would be able to progress? Maybe I didn't realize I would be the one that could never go back to where I was or the squad I loved so much. Maybe I will figure out what I am doing and I will love it as much as I love the street? Maybe I will start sleeping at night like a regular person? Maybe if I could wake up from more than 4 hours of sleep I could believe what I think everyday, "Holy crap!! I have the best life of anyone I know!! You are SO lucky everyday!! Why are you unhappy you brat!?"
Off the top of my head:
The amount of tuition for two classes at NAU...the stress and time that those 2 classes take to complete... or how about wedding plans... & unexpected financial burdens...like the $2000 my car will cost me tomorrow when I pick it up from the shop. or is it that I am running several nights a week, watching what I eat and still gaining weight. or is one of my biggest stresses the fact that I am unhappy at work. For the first time in almost six years I'm officially NOT doing what I love. I know as I learn the job it will get better, but for now...it's become just a job.
I obviously didn't know I wouldn't love being off the street... I didn't know it would take so much out of me to take me out of a patrol car. Maybe I didn't realize how much I loved it? Maybe I knew I needed to leave where I was so that my own life would be able to progress? Maybe I didn't realize I would be the one that could never go back to where I was or the squad I loved so much. Maybe I will figure out what I am doing and I will love it as much as I love the street? Maybe I will start sleeping at night like a regular person? Maybe if I could wake up from more than 4 hours of sleep I could believe what I think everyday, "Holy crap!! I have the best life of anyone I know!! You are SO lucky everyday!! Why are you unhappy you brat!?"
1 comment:
Well... I know what it's like to be really stressed and have a bunch of crap start piling up around you and feeling like somethings gonna snap. But, something always seems to give way before it gets to that point. So, all I can say is just hang in there and keep plugging away. You're on your way to all that you want by the sounds of it. Just getting there you have to wade through some of this murkiness.
I hope it starts to get more in sync soon!!
But, YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!! Smile!! It'll get better!
Hope some of that helped. :D
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