Isn't it Ironic?

Tonight I was doing some catching up...reading e-mail, checking blogs, myspace pages, etc when I started to laugh out loud to myself!!

When I stopped laughing, I thought to myself...Why is it that some of THE most judgmental people I know, are the SAME people that preach about God, forgiveness, understanding, the plan of salvation, etc? The same people that say they are striving to be like Christ...

Hello?? Isn't the big guy upstairs supposed to be doing the judging?? ...And we're supposed to be treating each other the way we would want to be treated?? Isn't that kinda what he is judging us on??

I am NOT saying that I am free & clear from the judging...but I do my very best not to judge people in general or because of their beliefs, their body, their way of life, etc. But I am NOT perfect and I certainly don't claim to be...

I am cynical by nature...that's how I survive those days at work that nobody hears about...the days that nobody wants to know about....that's how I survived raising my little sister and taking care of the house at 15 while my dad endured his own trip to hell and back...that's how I survived burying my husband and best friend at 20 and moving on with life from that point (all while being judged...at work, at church, at home).

My humor is different than some, my language can be offensive, I am very direct, and I believe a lot of things (church, life, etc) to be different than most of my family believes they are/were taught to believe. But I am a good person, a hard worker, a believer in Christ, and I love truly without hesitation. I learned these things at a young age from my parents.

I strive daily to be selfless and to maintain my integrity...I would give all I have to anyone of my family members if they needed it. I try to be a good friend, a hard worker, and to show love to those I love daily. I know in my heart that I would bleed for any citizen, for any child...but most importantly for any one of my brothers in blue.

I would suffer ANY amount, including death, if it meant my sisters would not suffer an ounce of pain or heartache...they have children that need them and they need their children. I missed out on parts of my "childhood" and would do anything to keep my nieces and nephews young long enough to embrace and cherish every moment of their own.

I know, and have come to terms with that fact that I will never again have a mother on this Earth, that loves me the way only a mother can love her child. But, I want my nieces and nephews to have every opportunity to know and to feel the never-ending, unconditional love that can only be shared with their mother. There is nothing else like it. Someday I hope to share that bond with my own child.

My Grandma once told me, that although she had a hard life, and endured things that most don't or shouldn't have to...that she would NEVER trade her life for anyone else's life. She was grateful for HER life...for her trials, for her blessings. I didn't feel the same way when she told me that, but I do now. I may have had to go to the depths hell and back to understand, to be truly thankful, and to love my own life, but I do. I wouldn't trade my trials, my blessings, or anything else for any one else's. I have learned a lot about who I am and what life really is all about...I guess I just needed it to hurt before I could understand.

The older I get, the more I question A LOT I was taught as a child...not necessarily things I was taught by my parents, but by the world, the church, friends, etc. I'm not saying it's wrong, but certain things need questioned.

Anywho...my point is this...I just think it's ironic when people stand on their soapbox, pretending to be Christ-like, when in reality...they are the opposite. Christ loved everyone, treated everyone the same...even the lepers’. He did not judge or hate or have anger over trivial BS that doesn't really matter anyway.

Let's be honest with ourselves...How Christ-like are we if we turn our backs on our families and stop even saying "hello" to each other?? Christ would never ignore, shut out, stop loving, etc...So why do we??